ehowton: (Default)
ehowton ([personal profile] ehowton) wrote2007-11-05 03:12 am
Entry tags:

Stockpile


"We frequently hear of people dying from too much drinking. That this happens is a matter of record. But the blame is always placed on whisky. Why this should be I never could understand. You can die from drinking too much of anything; coffee, water, milk, soft drinks and all such stuff as that. And so as long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing. I will make mine [Scotch] whisky."
-- W.C. Fields


I have two visitors coming over the next couple of months, and I'm very excited to see them both. Though both are able to co-exist collectively (we all did fine in Saint Louis) separately one requires much more attention (at least in preparation) than the other, and the activities I'm trying to plan vary wildly on opposite sides of the pendulum.

Both will require transportation from the airport. As these people are unaware of Dallas traffic, they'll both likely be screaming in the passenger seat of my car (think [livejournal.com profile] danzigfried's first visit). I drive as if I were piloting the Knight Bus in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban and traffic in the Metroplex is equally as forgiving. That being said, when one visitor arrives she has no requirements outside of transportation from said terminal to our domicile. As it will be later in the evening, her transportation is already set. I see no problems or issues arising from it. The other, however, requires the the vehicle be at exactly 71-degrees and that a measure of single-malt Scotch be awaiting him in the passenger cabin upon his entrance into the vehicle. Though with my first guest there will be much chattering and catching up during the half-hour drive, my other guest prefers silence until exactly 15-minutes into my drive. He's very precise, you see. Needs his time to "unwind."

While both guests and I have plenty of catching up to do, the care and feeding of one is going to be much more simplistic than the other. Both will be sleeping in the kids room's during their visit, but one demands 600-thread count Egyptian Cotton sheets. Our first breakfast will be lots of fun for both visitors, and though the menu of one visitor is not set, she'll no doubt enjoy whatever morning feast we serve, while the other requires a single slice of dry rye toast, and a single egg over-easy and 8-ounces of coffee at exactly 112-degrees Fahrenheit.

Even though I haven't seen either of these visitors in several months, it will be like we were never apart once they arrive. I am notorious for picking right up where we left off and having a really good time. That is, once I get the list of pre-approved conversations from my more *ahem* structured guest. My wife has events planned and sites to see with our first visitor - I'll be lucky to be able to tag along a couple of days into the visit. The other guest is bringing his own agenda. I'm waiting in eager anticipation to see if I'll be asked to accompany him.

With our first visitor, my wife has picked up a couple of bottles of wine and fun things like "chocolate tequila." She is so much fun and so easy-going I anticipate a great time all around. My other visitor is like Madam Maxine's flying horses from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - he only drinks single-malt whisky, so I've been feverishly stockpiling Scotch. No matter how much I have, I'm afraid it won't be enough. He requires a dram an hour. You've heard of a mean drunk? My second visitor only gets angry if he doesn't drink!

I'm very excited to see both my friends.

We're hosting a large block-party for the first visitor - she already engages in conversation with the locals of Anna, and I have people coming from all over the Metroplex to meet her. My other friend, well, not only are his arrival dates and times kept until the most strict of confidences, I've agreed we're not to leave the house except under the cover of darkness, and to avoid as much human contact as possible. He's written a backstory I've memorized to explain his presence here in Texas.

Either way, how much fun can a person have?

I rock.



Who loves ya?

[identity profile] galinda822.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 06:49 pm (UTC)(link)
I can't wait! I've missed you all so much...more than you know. The countdown has begun. Tick,tock!

Hmmm! I'm thinking maybe I should have been a little more demanding for my visit. :)

Next time you speak to your other visitor please let him know that I am VERY disappointed not to have heard from him lately! My feelings are officially hurt! :(


[identity profile] galinda822.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 06:50 pm (UTC)(link)
ps: I wouldn't mind a little whisky while I'm there. Haven't had any since you left.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 06:56 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think my other visitor is in the practice of caring. Reminds me of a song:

Oh, yes, that woman made brazen overtures
With a gilt-edged guarantee
She had a golden glint in her eye
And a silver voice with a counterfeit ring
Just melt her down and you'll reveal
A lump of lead as cold as steel
Here, where a woman's heart should be!

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 07:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Me either! I'm afraid of his wrath, however, if he sees that the seals have been broken on any of them! Though I must admit, I cracked the Cigar Malt on Halloween. I always walk the kids around with a cigar, this time I did so with a cigar and Scotch!

[identity profile] galinda822.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 10:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Well if he's gonna be that way about it, you and I will just acquire our own bottle! ;)

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Damn fine plan! I'm thinking...a bottle of Gelnfiddich 12. Mmmmm.

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 11:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Two things...

1) My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.
2) What's a dram? I'm too lazy to look it up, so just give me the answer sheet.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 11:19 pm (UTC)(link)
A dram is a small measure.
Which guest above would you be?

[identity profile] jaceman.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 11:39 pm (UTC)(link)
I would be neither guest, which is why I am assuming my invitation must have gotten lost in the mail.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 11:42 pm (UTC)(link)
Bring Scotch.

[identity profile] galinda822.livejournal.com 2007-11-05 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
I will leave that up to you sir as you are the connoisseur!

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 02:59 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm assuming that most of this post is facetious. That having been said, the only person that you know that I know of that is this anal retentive is [livejournal.com profile] photogoot. Good God!

Even I didn't have demands like these...

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Is that a stock photo or are all of those bottles sitting on your counter?

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:06 pm (UTC)(link)
They're sitting on my counter. To see the shot of them out of the boxes, check out http://www.wilddamntexan.com/kids/scotch_bottles.jpg

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:08 pm (UTC)(link)
Logic dictates that had this post been facetious, the party in question would have countered. Your skills of perception are well honed, but your detective work sucks. Check the tags.

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:26 pm (UTC)(link)
nice.

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I am still right, even if my logic was wrong.

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm not 40 yet!

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Good point, but the teacher always wants to see your work.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:31 pm (UTC)(link)
Just seeing the picture makes me weak in the knees.

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:36 pm (UTC)(link)
Rather then looking at my avatar?

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 04:37 pm (UTC)(link)
It doesn't matter HOW you get the girl but that you you DO get the girl.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
Your avatar would benefit from from cropping. And no, I'd rather have the Scotch, thank you. One of the benefits of being out of my 20's is I'm not always out chasing tail.

A good Scotch & a cigar with my wife is all I need.

[identity profile] ehowton.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
I disagree. If you were to use lies & deceit to get the girl, you don't deserve her, and your life will be empty.

[identity profile] schpydurx.livejournal.com 2007-11-06 07:18 pm (UTC)(link)
You don't chase tail because you've got it. Furthermore, I don't chase either; it's too tiring and futile.

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